i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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