OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
