oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
