tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
