see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
