The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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