I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
