but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
