i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
