All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
