i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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