Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
