Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
