If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How does it feel to date your dad?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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