They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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