Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
