Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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