Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
