i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
