remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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