Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
