He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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