His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
