My balls are so social today.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
