Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He has the fingertips of a God
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