Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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