Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
