He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
