Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
