You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
