it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
