my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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