can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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