I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
