Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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