you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
