idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
