all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
