dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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