I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
