ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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