I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
