That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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