Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
