i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
