Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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