spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
