If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
