dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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