My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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