I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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