she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it because I queefed?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
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Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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