I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
