I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
