You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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