Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it's like iHOP with fire
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
