dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
