haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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