i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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