how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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