....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
